What is an Elopement - The Modern Meaning and Common Myths

May 9
11 min read

Elopements - you may have heard of this phrase more often recently. You keep seeing epic elopement photos of a couple in the mountains, or even an intimate gathering in a beautiful place. You may be wondering, is that a real wedding? What makes up an elopement? As someone who specializes in elopement photography, I was surprised to see there wasn't a ton of search results in Google for what is an elopement, what an elopement can be, and all that fun stuff! Elopements are continuing to grow in popularity, so I wanted to break down what is an elopement, and explain the modern meaning and common myths.

a couple eloping at a waterfall in washington

Being very passionate about elopements has me so excited to do this deep dive! Hey there, I'm Karlie, an Idaho based elopement photographer helping you create a memorable and meaningful experience for your wedding day. Interested in learning more about elopements? Head on over to my home page and pricing page to learn more about what your wedding day can look like with the elopement route.

What is an Elopement? The Modern Definition

Starting with the basics, you might be wondering what an elopement even is. Is it a wedding done in secret without family or friends? No. Is it a quick and meaningless, cheap way to get married? Not at all!

I like to describe elopements as an intimate, meaningful, experience based way to get married. Since I live in this gorgeous state of Idaho, I chose to specialize in adventure elopements, which in short just means I co-create and photograph outdoor experiences with my couples for their wedding day. Many of my couples come from out of state to enjoy what Idaho has to offer, and they do that for their wedding day! How amazing is that?!

Even if you don't live in the mountains like I do, elopements are still thriving. Urban elopements, elopements on the east coast, and more are becoming ever more popular. The main point of it all is: planning a day around what you want. It can be simple or extravagant. You just get to spend money on the things that matter most to you.

Let's dive a little deeper into what happens at an elopement, and some common FAQ's next!

Why Do Couples Elope?

You are choosing to elope for a reason. Was planning a traditional wedding too much pressure to preform for others? Did you cringe at the cost of a venue? Do you feel like you're planning a day for everyone except yourself? Maybe you just love the outdoors and your relationship is founded on being outside together, or maybe it's traveling to a new place you've never been before? These are very common reasons couples opt for eloping.

a couple sitting on a log at an alpine lake

I have a in-depth guide on 20 Real Reasons Couples Elope, so be sure to check that blog out as well for even more reasons couples elope.

Are Elopements Done in Secret?

Elopements are not always done in secret! Some couples like to surprise their family with an elopement announcement afterwards, but many times, the closest friends to the couple/immediate family are involved.

Many couples use eloping to invest in the things that really matter. They still go all out with florals, hair and makeup, etc. Some even make it a destination experience and travel far to elope in a different area.

A lot of my couples bring family along so it's an experience for everyone, but others find that just the two of them is simpler. It's about a 50/50 mix for me if couples include family or not! So, the elopements I specialize in are not done quickly and secretly. They often make it an intimate experience in the place of their choosing, and make it special by investing in the things that matter most.

wedding ceremony at colter bay swim beach

The Cost of Elopements

The cost of elopements has a very wide range. According to this post by Wandering Weddings, the average cost of elopements can range from $2,000 - $15,000+.

While this can still sound like a lot, the average cost of a traditional wedding is $30,000+. So you can splurge on a full experience (or even a multi-day experience) for your elopement (and even extend it into a honeymoon trip) and it still costs half the amount of a traditional wedding.

Most Common Elopement Costs

Photographer and/or Videographer
Travel and Accommodations
Rental Vehicles
Wedding Attire
Hair and Makeup
Officiant
Florals
Food
Experiences/Excursions
Wedding Permits/Special Use Permits
Other Accessories like Vow Books, Rings, Shoes, Unique Details, etc.

You definitely don't have to splurge on all of these categories for your elopement either. The point is to focus on what matters most to you as a couple, and invest in that. You can save money on a dress to travel to a new location, or DIY certain things to save money too. It can be as expensive or as affordable as you need and want.

Can You Bring Family/Guests to an Elopement?

Yes, and many of my couples do bring family along for the day! In my personal experience, I'd say it's a good 50/50 if my couples bring family along or not. But you are absolutely allowed to (there's no rules when you elope).

Some others cap an elopement guest count at 10 or less, but there's no magic number to what counts as an elopement. I personally photograph usually 20 or under and still consider them elopements.

Even if you bring family along, you can still get the best of both worlds. I always recommend being around family for the getting ready portion of the day, ceremony, and then later with dinner. But either before or after ceremony is a great time for just the three of us to split off to go do our own thing, so it can still feel like it's just the two of you for a bit.

Another popular option is to have a separate reception later, so you get to celebrate with family and friends still, but you don't have to squeeze it all into one day, making it an even more relaxed experience overall.

people at a large table cheering with drinks

Did you know I offer 2 day elopement experiences for this exact reason? Especially if you're travelling with family, day 1 could be a fun family adventure day, and day 2 can be more focused on just the two of you.

How to Include Family for an Elopement

If you want it to just be the two of you, but want to incorporate family day-of, here's some ideas to include family but still keep it private and intimate with just the two of you:

Bring letters from family and read them day-of
Video chat family
Include special family heirlooms
Have your family members send you a video of them congratulating you/mini speeches for you

a couple reading letters from family during their elopement

Looking for ways to inform family that you are wanting to elope? I have a free resource to help guide you here!

Are Elopements Legally Binding?

Yes, elopements can be legally binding. Couples can still fill out a marriage license and have an officiant present to make it legal.

I've had couples do the marriage paperwork before traveling to their elopement destination, so at that point they don't need an officiant since they are already technically legally married. They will then just read their vows on the date of their choosing and have their commitment ceremony, and have that day be their wedding date. But many couples opt to hire an officiant so they can get officially married in the mountains or the location of your choosing.

an elopement ceremony at an alpine lake in idaho

officiant signing an idaho marriage license

Some states like Colorado allow you to self-solemnize, which means you don't need an officiant or witnesses to make it legal. You will still need a marriage license, but that's it! Each state has different rules, like some states have a waiting period of 3 days before you can get your marriage license.

Did you know Idaho is one of the easiest states to get married in? No witnesses are required, so you only need an officiant. And there's no waiting period to get a marriage license. Read more about how to elope in Idaho here!

So yes, as long as you file and complete the process for a marriage license, your elopement is legal.

Is an Elopement a Real Wedding?

Absolutely! It's honestly the most real wedding route you can go, as you include what actually is important and meaningful to you. Instead of focusing on keeping your guests entertained or putting money towards food and place settings for over a hundred people, you can use that money in ways that will enhance your experience for your wedding.

Many couples forgo planning a day for the guests and focus on building a one of a kind day for their wedding. If you love the outdoors, you can find couples hiking to a secluded alpine lake, or experiencing a national park together. If you want a chill day, fill it up with relaxed activities like having a mountaintop picnic at a drive up spot, or have a fancy 3 course dinner catered for just the two of you. Things like this don't make your wedding any less real, it allows time for it to feel real and special.

Are Elopements Shameful and Selfish?

Not at all! It's your wedding day (your one day for something this special to be what you actually want). You're allowed to be a little selfish for your most special day 😉

I don't know how a wedding that you take time thinking about the things that are really important to you and creating a day around what you love can be taken as shameful or selfish, it really isn't!

a couple running on a mountain trail in the tetons

It's also a smarter way to start off your marriage financially, as elopements are so much more affordable than the average price of a traditional wedding. Many couples make their elopement trip into their honeymoon as well, and the money you're saving can be used for more important things, like putting a down payment on a place to live.

Difference Between Elopements and Weddings

Here's a quick breakdown of the main differences between elopements and weddings. The main difference is the intention behind the day and the experience that comes with eloping, while a traditional wedding is usually catered more towards guests in at a venue.

a couple sharing a first dance in the forest

Breakdown of Elopements:

Experience based wedding days
20 or less people
Looser timeline with more room for spontaneity
Tons of time for just the two of you to relax

Breakdown of Weddings:

Typically stick to a stricter timeline
Usually 100+ people
Traditional timeline of having a bridal party, ceremony, cocktail hour, large reception with dances, speeches, toasts
Small amount of time for just the two of you to relax

Elopements VS Micro-Weddings

Every person you ask may have a different answer, but here is my personal definition of elopements vs micro-weddings: I view a micro-wedding as a regular wedding, but a much smaller scale. Usually around 20 people has been my personal experience when I've done micro-weddings at a venue. The couples still typically rent a venue, and can follow the timeline of a traditional wedding, just on a much smaller scale.

a micro-wedding ceremony at arbor crest wine cellars

Elopements meanwhile can be from 2-20ish people, no venue (unless for a dinner), and the couples spend the day doing their favorite activities, like having a picnic in the mountains, hiking in a national park, including time for relaxing and being stress free, etc. They are also often more intentional with the things and people who are included.

Do I Have to Elope Outdoors for it to be an Elopement?

Absolutely not! You don't have to hike mile and miles for your elopement, or even elope outdoors for it to be considered an elopement. There are several spots where you can drive up to get epic mountain views or that require minimal hiking. The main point of an elopement is to make it your own version of an adventure, whether that be hiking miles in the backcountry, or eloping in the city and getting your favorite fast food after!

What Does an Elopement Ceremony Look Like?

Elopements often let you choose the ceremony that resonates most with you as a couple, without the pressures of family making you choose something different.

There are lots of ways to make an elopement ceremony your own and really special. You can still have an officiant, read vows, exchange rings, and/or include any traditions or special ceremonies (like doing any type of unity ceremony). You have the freedom to craft a ceremony that reflects you as a couple.

Where Can You Elope? Elopement Location Ideas

Here are some ideas for where you can have your elopement location! You can really elope anywhere, dream big!

National Park Elopements

National Parks are popular elopement locations, like this elopement at Colter Bay in Wyoming, because of easy access to stunning landscapes. Permits are also usually $200 or less, and many couples make it a trip for their families who come along too.

Destination Elopements

Some couples travel far and wide to elope in incredible and wild places. This couple came from Central America to elope in the North Cascades in Washington (See more images from their adventure here)!

Urban Elopements

A beautiful option for those who don't want to hike on their wedding day is urban elopements! This couple got married at their local courthouse and had the best intimate day with just the two of them. Other popular ideas for urban elopements include getting your favorite fast food, going to a local park, bookstore, etc!

Hiking Elopements

For those a bit more adventurous at heart, some couples put in the miles for their wedding day to get access to views at a spot secluded away from others, like this couple who came from Texas to elope in North Idaho! This is the ultimate way to get an epic experience and solitude for your wedding day.

Backyard Elopements

This backyard spring forest elopement is a perfect example of what a backyard elopement can look like! Easy access to the outdoors, perfect for your guests to be a part. Include your favorite fur babies and share meaningful moments with family.

What Happens at an Elopement? Activity Ideas + Real Timeline Examples

Elopement Activity Ideas

I have tons of ideas for activities for your elopement, but here's some common elopement activities many of my couples often choose for their day:

Picnic
Fishing
Hiking
Read letters from family
Grab some coffee for a mid-day pick me up
Make breakfast together
Cut some cake
First dances at sunset
Include your dogs
Pop some champagne
Read private vows
Eat dinner back at an Airbnb

Real Elopement Timeline Examples

Here's some real timeline examples from my previous couples who eloped with me:

How to Elope - How to Start Planning an Elopement

Feeling inspired yet overwhelmed? You may be thinking, this all sounds great, but where do I even start to plan an elopement? I help my couples through the entire planning process, but here's a few pointers to get you started!

Hire an Elopement Specific Photographer - Elopement specific photographers will really help guide you with the ideas you have, or give you ideas if you don't have any! We will also assist you along the whole way of creating personalized location lists, activity ideas, timeline creation, getting the proper permits, and more.

Click here to read more about how I help you create a stress-free elopement experience.

Determine Accessibility - Depending on your location and scenery you picked, you need to make sure it's accessible during the time of year you're wanting to get married. For example, if you're wanting to hike in the mountains, you'll have to wait closer to July to access that location due to snow, depending on the elevation.

Pick your Location + Date - Once you have an idea for what you want to do for your elopement, you then can narrow it down to a location and pick a date!

Research Permits + Marriage Laws - Some places require a permit to have a legal ceremony, so be sure to research if you'll need a permit. Your photographer will be able to help guide you through this!

Pick Activities - Customize your day however you like! Include things you love to do, or include things you haven't done before. Whatever will make your day be the most fun and memorable to you as a couple. Your photographer can help you pick out ideas that are unique to you as a couple.

a couple kissing while walking horses in the mountains

Elopement Photographer and Planner

And there you have it! I hope this blog on what is an elopement - the modern meaning and common myths really helped you to see what an elopement can be!

As an Idaho elopement photographer and planner, I love seeing my couples truly enjoy their wedding day in the most authentic way as possible. They are always talking about how much fun they had, and how they are so glad they eloped! I truly wish that for you on your wedding day to experience that feeling too.

idaho elopement photographer selfies with clients

Elopement Packages

Interested in learning more about elopements? Head on over to my pricing page to learn more about what your wedding day can look like when you elope. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out, I'd love to help you out!